While we all know individuals who are wildly outgoing, plenty of fun to be around and occasionally even obnoxious, chances are we relate less to these extroverts and more to introverts or people somewhere in the middle.
"Although there are several studies that measure introverts and extroverts, the Myers Briggs Typology Inventory – a popular personality measure – found in a global study that 56.8% of the population are introverts," says Joanne Broder, a practicing psychologist, fellow of the American Psychological Association and the co-founding editor of the peer-reviewed journal, "Psychology Popular Media."
Learning who introverts are – and who they are not – can be helpful in both building relationships and better understanding one another.
While no single characteristic defines an introverted person, generally speaking, "introverts prefer being alone or among few people rather than larger crowds," says Broder.
They frequently seek out and enjoy opportunities for solitude and often choose activities where they can be alone or in small groups such as walking, hiking, reading, photography, DIY-projects, playing video games, writing, gardening, drawing or listening to music. "Introverts have a social battery of sorts," explains Clint Okamoto, a certified social worker at Solace Emotional Health in Pleasant Grove, Utah. "It's not that they don't enjoy spending time around others, it just requires more of an effort, and they get to a point where they need to recharge by being on their own."
It's a point echoed by Amanda Darnley, a psychologist based in Philadelphia. But she says it needs to be clear that being introverted is not the same as being shy or experiencing social anxiety – which often involves fear of judgment in social situations. "Rather, being introverted means you tend to draw energy from solitary activities, rather than group settings," she explains. "You recharge from some quiet time alone and then can go out into the world and interact with others in a really valuable way."
Broder adds that introverts are people who are "comfortable enough to be in their own skin and are happy to be alone." She says that people with the personality trait are also generally more selective in who they invite into their world, "which tend to be genuine and true friends, as opposed to casual peers."
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Introversion and extroversion are personality traits that lie on opposite ends of a personality spectrum - "a spectrum that essentially speaks to where you tend to focus your time and energy and how your energy gets replenished," says Darnley. In other words, an introvert most commonly recharges their batteries by being alone while and an extrovert does so by being around others. "Though some people will fit into one end of the continuum or the other, the majority of the population will fall somewhere in the middle," she explains.
These people are called ambiverts. "It’s very common for people to identify with being an ambivert – though whether they are energized by being alone or among others usually depends on the situation, the people and their comfort level with both," says Broder.
While many people aspire to be an introvert or an extrovert at either end of the personality spectrum, "in my opinion, one personality type is not 'better' than the other," says Tim Carter, an educator and the president of Discovery Tree Academy. "Both extroverts and introverts require the individual to learn to navigate their daily life by using the gifts and talents they possess."
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At the same time, Carter recognizes that each personality type has unique advantages and disadvantages. "Introverted children often face a variety of challenges, such as finding it more difficult to be invited into group play than extroverted children, which can limit their opportunities to develop crucial social skills," he says.
On the other hand, "introverts are generally more observant and aware of social situations and have a stronger sense of discernment to ensure the risks they do take are successful to completion," he says. "Introverts are also typically more empathetic and caring towards others and consider all involved when making decisions."
Darnley agrees, noting that research shows that introverts also tend to be better listeners than extroverts. "This is likely due to the fact that they process information internally and thoroughly before responding, which allows them to fully understand what is being said," she explains.
It’s okay to be an introvert, notes Broder, "because introverts are comfortable, authentic and independent, rather than molding themselves to the crowd to be included with others."
But if an introvert wants to become more social or extroverted, she adds, a good place to start is trying to become more comfortable in crowded settings, while planning ahead for a "safe escape route" if the situation becomes too overwhelming. "And therapy is always a wonderful solution for people if they are struggling with low self-esteem and self-confidence, social anxiety, depression or other issues that might be blocking them from social situations."
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